I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
