I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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