Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
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