just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
