so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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