I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I need a beard to bite.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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