oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
