my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
My vagina is very pro this idea
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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