Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Randomize
