Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
