she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
