apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
