i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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