Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
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