Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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