He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
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