At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
