He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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