i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
