i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
