I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
