im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
So here I am, sexting at work.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
