Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
