So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
