after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize