Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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