He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
