Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Randomize
