Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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