i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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