oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
The feeling are messing with the penis
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
