Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
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