I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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