Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
