I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
