ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
