I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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