It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Two words: blizzard sex
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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