She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
