I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
