dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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