Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
