wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
