i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
