Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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