We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Randomize
