Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
