What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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