He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
