dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
