Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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